As you can see, they abbreviated the name of the month and I’m staying true to that despite really wanting to write it out in full.
And there on the front cover – a band who, little over a month earlier, were unknown to the bulk of the readership. This “hot new band will shift lots of copies” philosophy will be repeated on the cover of the next issue, too.
Turning the page we get lyrics to The Stranglers’ Duchess, little realising that I’d find myself singing this 19 years later when hearing a song by Manic Street Preachers for the first time. The next couple of pages feature three songs so different that it feels like the phrase “strange bedfellows” could have been made for them. The rapidly declining in popularity Boney M and Gotta Go Home, the re-released Boredom from Buzzcocks’ Spiral Scratch (listed as Buzzcocks with Howard Devoto – just so we didn’t confuse it with anything new) and Squeeze with Slap & Tickle.
Following an interview with The B-52s (and still no words for Rock Lobster), the first of the Bitz pages introduces us to “London band Madness”. Whatever happened to them? Squeeze’s Chris Difford shares his wide-ranging Top 10, with Elvis Costello taking top spot with Stranger In The House. In case you don’t know it, EC wrote it for a George Jones album in 1978 and his own version was given away as a limited edition single with early copies of This Year’s Model. It also featured on a Peel session, recorded with The Attractions. Probably a good time to share a version.
There is footage of Elvis and George duetting on this, but it’s from 1981, so I’m guessing this is the version to which Chris refers.
Also on the Bitz pages is the first of three mentions for a release on Stiff Records entitled Peppermint Lump. Its singer, 11 year-old Angie (Angela Porter), we are told “is an experienced juvenile actress who has appeared in such masterpieces as Wombling Free, Nationwide and The Rod Hull Show”. With it also featuring later on the magazine in the Singles Reviews and as Rob Jones’ “Disco” Pick, it felt like this was going to be the Next Big Thing. Pete Townshend produced it and played guitar on it and future Big Country man, Tony Butler, played bass. It failed to chart. I have literally just heard it for the first time ever, and feel somehow grateful that none of us appears to have been taken in by the hype.
Moving swiftly along, a two page interview with The Jam is followed by a full page advert for “The new game from XTC”. Making Plans For Nigel’s first 20,000 copies include a free game. Given that this is 18 months prior to my introduction to strategic board gaming, I opted not to purchase this. Fool.
Across the page are the words for the rather insipid Love Will Make You Fail In School from Rocky Sharpe And The Replays and a band who seemed to land five years later than they should have done and were continuing to linger like a bad smell – Racey and Boy Oh Boy.
There’s an interview with The Specials and a quiz, in which I would today comfortably score 20/20, but appear to have only managed a meagre 12 at the time. A photo of Squeeze occupies the centre pages.
The disco pages feature one song that I absolutely love – The Crusaders’ Street Life, one I can vaguely remember – Commodores and Sail On, and one I don’t think I ever heard – Fat Larry’s Band and Lookin’ For Love Tonight. Their time would come. These lyrics are all spread over a picture of a rather tall-looking woman on all fours wearing a swimsuit. It’s explained thus: “If you’re wondering why New York disco star Grace Jones is crawling across this page and there’s no pic of Fat Larry or The Commodores, then you’ve obviously never seen a pic of Fat Larry”. Harsh. I had no idea who Grace Jones was at the time and did briefly wonder if she was the vocalist on Street Life – that would have been interesting!
More lyrics with Gerry Rafferty having the final Top 40 morsels from his dining out on the back of Baker Street, with Get It Right Next Time. Below that was the song which had my father looking briefly at the magazine – the awful If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me from The Bellamy Brothers. And this:
It references a Jensen Interceptor – my favourite car – so I have some affection for this, but it is terribly cheesy when compared to the ska sounds that were now hitting the airwaves. Nevertheless, Bill’s only hit did reach #12.
Eddie Cochran features for the second issue running, this time via an article telling his story. I’ll skip past the Singles Reviews, with some of the discs there featuring in forthcoming issues, and pause at the Album Reviews. What’s the top scorer? Talking Heads and Fear Of Music at 7.5/10? Nope. Joy Division’s Unknown Pleasures with 8/10. No, sir. With a score of 8.5/10, album reviewer Red Starr plumps for Risqué by Chic. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that Mrs TGG was masquerading under the Red Starr moniker with those scores (but she would only have been 13 then, like me – I’m a week older than her). It is the Chic album that includes Good Times, so it should get a decent mark, but better than Unknown Pleasures?!?
The lyrics request spot continues its fixation with releases from 1978 – this time it’s The Clash and White Man In Hammersmith Palais. As we’ve moved into September, there are no outdoor shows with varied line-ups to share from the Gigs page, but acts performing in Manchester that fortnight that I could have seen, had I been able to go, included Shake, Boney M, Nils Lofgren, XTC, The Crusaders, The Chords and one my father would have been interested in – The Shadows.
This issue’s lyrics are concluded with two from Wings. Getting Closer and Baby’s Request. I had to look this up as I can’t recall either song. It was a double A-side that peaked at #60, and the last Paul McCartney release billed as Wings. He’d be back before the end of the year with a song that, annoyingly, I can recall only too well, because I’ve heard it every year since.
Finally, the back page photo is of Gibson Brothers (you know, Him, Thingy and Wotsit). At the time they were (and may still be), the only act from Martinique to have ever hit the UK Charts. Obviously the photo has them standing in front of a beach and some palm trees.
I’ll warn you now – the next issue has some very stern-looking people on the front cover.
TGG
2 responses to “Smash Hits: Sept 6-19 1979”
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Dear God….if you’d given me 100 guesses as to which label had released that Peppermint Lump monstosity, I’d still never got it. Unlistenable.
Surprised that Unknown Pleasure was even given a review in Smash Hits, far less scoring so highly.
Also fascinated by Virgin Records taking out a full page ad for the next XTC single….wouldn’t have imagined Smash Hits readership being the normal target audience for the group, but then again, they were about to release a bona-fide pop classic.
This remains a fascinating read. Cheers
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Thanks JC – glad you’re enjoying it. I’m finding it fun regressing to the 13 year-old me, and trying to recall how I felt at the time. I’m guessing I was in the demographic that Smash Hits was aimed at in 1979. Both male and female peers were buying the poppier “new wave” releases as well as the 2-tone and mod stuff. If you look at the other singles covered, they weren’t really aimed at teenagers – Gerry Rafferty, Boney M, etc. Even the disco releases would have been more for the older teenagers who were actually going to clubs.
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Wasting time in the study 
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