I was going to do an Unsung Song that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while, but I so enjoyed writing the last one of these, I thought I’d do at least one more first. We move forward 14 days and are greeted on the cover by the nearest thing 1979 had to a boy band.
Except they weren’t actually all that young, as will be discussed shortly….
On to some song lyrics first, and another of the many classic hits from 1979 is first up on page 2, Cars by Gary Numan. Then we have the band mentioned in the previous issue’s Bitz, already making the breakthrough to having the words of their only (very minor hit) published.
Their prime time TV appearance resulted in them getting no higher than #40. Yes, that is Mick Talbot’s brother, Danny. Hard to believe that a mere 4 years later, Mick would be involved with the far more sophisticated output of The Style Council.
Mick and co share a page with The Flying Lizards and their cover of Money, while across the page is a picture of future bandmate Paul Weller and the words to The Jam’s When You’re Young.
There follows an interview with Joe Jackson, before we hit the Bitz pages and that man Jackson is there again with his All Time Top 10 – a varied selection that includes both Bruce Springsteen’s Born To Run and Big Youth’s cover of Hit The Road Jack. The Bitz pages also tell us that someone called Toyah Wilcox is releasing a 6 track record called Sheep Farming In Barnet. The 13 year old me would have been thinking Who? What? Why?, little realising that 45 years later, I would have seen her live on four occasions.
The other notable item on the Bitz pages (as alluded to earlier) is a photo of the Zoot Money Big Roll Band from 1964 featuring a certain Andy Summers from the issue’s front cover. “No, no, Andy, don’t thank us – it was nothing” it says, as thousands suddenly realise that Andy is offically old.
Thereafter there is a Police interview followed by the words to Angel Eyes by Roxy Music. There then follows an odd page where you can enter a competition to win an Eddie Cochran album alongside a large advert for an album by Rocky Sharpe And The Replays. Interest in Cochran would have been high due to the recent Sex Pistols covers of a couple of his hits.
Then it’s the Disco pages and Rob Jones’ Disco Pick, which to my ears is not in any way disco.
Future member of The Christians, Henry Priestman, and his Liverpudlian outfit had caught the ear of Mr. Jones, who at the time was on Radio Luxembourg. He can now be found on Boom Radio – and I bet he’s never played this on there.
There is some disco on the Disco pages though, with lyrics to Girls Girls Girls by Kandidate, Strut Your Funky Stuff by Frantique and Gone Gone Gone by Johnny Mathis. I may have heard the Frantique song at some point since 1979, but the other two?
The centre pages are basically a Gary Numan poster before we hit the most interesting article in this issue. Martyn Ware (then of The Human League) gets two pages to write about the Sheffield music scene. As well as his own band there are, among others, mentions for Cabaret Voltaire, Clock DVA, forerunners to ABC, Vice-Versa, and er… Def Leppard. Best band name goes to The Defective Turtles.
Words to Angelic Upstarts’ Teenage Warning are followed by the chance to complete a crossword and win a B-52s album. I’d just purchased Rock Lobster as a single and was gutted the words hadn’t been published due to “delays with their American publishers”.
The request spot is taken up like the last issue by another 1978 release, this time Solitary Confinement by The Members.
The Singles reviews cover a wide range of artists from Buzzcocks, and the aforementioned Toyah release to Chas ‘n’ Dave and Max Bygraves (the latter two being separate releases and not thankfully a collaborative work). As for the albums, highest mark goes to XTC’s Drums And Wires (9/10) and the wooden spoon to AC/DC and Highway To Hell (3/10). The Australians are described thus: “with the possible exception of Kiss, the worst group currently walking the face of the earth”. You can almost hear Rocky Sharpe and his mates breathing a sigh of relief at that news.
One single reviewed that I do remember hearing on the radio, but which was not a hit is this one. They got on to Swap Shop, but this would seem to be their only ever release.
Three more sets of lyrics as we near the end. Randy Vanwarmer (probably not his real name) and Just When I needed You Most, Hot Chocolate and Going Through The Motions (which I guess they were, as I don’t recall this one) and the delightfully titled The Bitch by The Olympic Runners – the words are not an easy read.
The gig listing has an interesting show on September 1 at the Edinburgh Ingliston Showground where you can see Van Morrison, The Undertones, Talking Heads, Steel Pulse and Squeeze. Wow! If only I’d not been a 13 year-old living in Stockport. At least I have seen The Undertones and Squeeze since, the latter many times.
Final song words come from The Jolly Brothers and Conscious Man (more dubious lines about being wary of the females you might get involved with) and then a song which ended up being a much bigger hit in 1984. Sister Sledge and Lost In Music.
The back page is a picture of The Undertones, which I can’t imagine ended up adorning too many bedroom walls.
And so I headed off to my third year at Senior School (or Year 9 as it is now known) armed with two issues’ worth of lyrics, facts and news with which to bore my schoolmates.
TGG
One response to “Smash Hits: August 23 – September 5 1979”
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So many names thrown at us in this review…..I was 16 years old and totally obsessed with music, but there are so many songs and musicians in this edition that I simply cannot recall!!!
The late 70s was an era where the boy band phenomena in pop music was nowhere to be seen. The Osmonds and Bay City Rollers had come and gone a few years previously and the likes of Smash Hits had to scramble around to find suitable substitutes. Fast forward two years and the ‘New Romantic’ bands were ushered in to fill the void.
Another fascinating read.
Wasting time in the study 
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